Shimmering , Glimmering - FIFTH GRADE STARS!

Fifth Grade Stars is a fun little series about feuding clubs , friendship , contrasting households , blended up with loads of competition. Though Fifth Grade Stars was published by Bullseye ( Knopf ) in 1989 , it has the feeling of being an appetizer to Sleepover Friends published from 1987 - 1991. It’s a short series - 6 books long , 2 of which are written by Susan Saunders who also wrote the Sleepover Friends books. The books feature five girls who become fast friends , feeling like misfits for living in the suburbs, compared to the estates of the snobby , rich girls in their class who have formed an exclusive club called the Clovers. They dub their club the Stars , after their bus route ( Sugar Tree Acre Route ) which draws the most ridicule , for being on the edge of town on what used to be farmland. There is no main character , each of the stories shift to show you the behind the scenes look at their home life , though the view point is always omnipresent. Jan Bateman is the average girl who feels overlooked in a household where her brother is a star athlete , and loves to cook attempting in book #5 to make meringues , Amy Danner is the fashion risk taker whose favorite color is Day-glo orange. Karen Fisher is the organizer and book worm of the group , enthusiastically spouting off about sci-fi plots. Last but not least are the identical twins , outspoken Beth who adores animals and Sara who writes everything down in a notebook ala Harriet the Spy while plotting a romance novel that never gets off the ground. They spend most of their time reminding us how different they are from each other. The Clovers are your typical series villains with one hilarious twist - to be a Clover you had to have a side ponytail! That was their signature. ( I wonder if someone working on 13 going on 30 had read one of these books?) The head Clover was rich , blonde , blue eyed , dimpled Holly Hudnut. ( can you believe that name? It sounds like your trying to hoark a lugie. , i.e. spit ) every class has a Holly Hudnut - the annoying smart , kiss-up who can do no wrong in the teachers eyes. Her cohorts are Brenda Wallace , horse crazy and horsey looking with a sassy mouth , and smart-ass comebacks. Mary Rose Gallagher is the athlete , whose immaculate look and mannerisms were once the envy of Jan. Roxanne Sachs , the one Clover who sneaks wearing make-up to school every day and Sue Pinson - small and mousey she only got in cause she’s cousin’s with Brenda. There are a few boy characters , Pete McBride short but handsome with spiky blonde hair and a rebellious nature , Matthew Ellis tall and gangly saved from being a nerd by collecting and knowing all about golden oldies , and collecting ‘45's? Say what? I don’t think this would’ve stopped any boy in my class from being a nerd , I think the girls just decided he was less nerdy than say Cliff Hargrove who , though was handsome also knew it. The stories revolved around face-offs between the two clubs , the stars trying to achieve some level of status the Clovers , already had or were striving for themselves.
One of the most interesting points for me was this was one of the only series that included girls , twins as main characters who were not blonde haired and blue eyed , they were redheads with freckles. Redheads were rare in any series , be it teen or preteen fiction. Katie from the Fabulous Five comes immediately to mind and even Melanie was said to have reddish brown hair but other than those two I’m drawing a blank. Mallory? From the Babysitters club but she was added in later. I sometimes think nobody picks redheads on purpose because redheads are more stereotyped than blondes. For instance a redhead either had a fiery disposition to match her hair - Katie , and ( for those who read other teen fiction besides series -The Secret diary of Katie Dinkerhoff by Linda Perl ) , or they’re shy and bookish - Mallory. ( this is not just book stereotype it’s also movie stereotype! ) Both of the twins in the Fifth Grade Stars series rather than live up to those two stereotypes meld after the other popular 80's redheads of spunky and solemn.

Bring on the redheads!
The 80's were chock full of spunky redheads and though blondes were often number one ( Michelle Pfeffier , Ellen Barkin , Daryl Hannah , Kelly McGillis ) there was a moment that flaming , florid tresses were all the rage. Sparked perhaps by the beautiful confident Molly Ringwald , whose cherry red locks and freckles were a bold , fresh stand out among the numerous , platinum blonde starlets only to be reignited in 1990 by Julia Roberts unobtainable mane. In the Pick Up Artist Robert Downey Jr. compares Molly to a work of art - Did anyone ever tell you that you have the face of a Botticelli and the body of a Degas? She had numerous imitators and even a few predecessors. Others in the decade made a definite pro redhead stamp! Megan Follows and Melissa Gilbert became famous playing period piece redheads. Bringing the beloved characters of , Anne of Green Gables , and Laura Ingalls from the Little House books to life with scintillating charm. Though their hair was often in braids and wearing repeat pinafores and high button boots , they were called Half-pint and Carrots and felt as plain as the calico they wore , Laura envied her sisters blonde haired , blue eyed beauty and Anne , her friend’s Gibson girl features it was both girls who were more memorable and snagged the most dashing mates. Movie stars like Kerri Green who created a mild sensation as the beautiful teenage cheerleader in both The Goonies and Lucas and as the nubile daughter of John Candy in Summer Rental who asks her in dismay , upon viewing her ruffly bikini and braided side ponytail - Who’re you Lolita? And then as the troubled daughter of an abusive politician in Three for The Road , she chews ice in a posh restaurant and shows the boys how to eat their pasta with their toes. Aileen Quinn was all boisterous cheer in Annie with a ball of red hair that sat on her head like the top of a lollipop as she belted out the upbeat Tomorrow. Fanny Lauzier is a little known french Canadian actress who starred in two, Rock Demers productions , both characters exuding an effervescent charm that gave her a fairy-tale aura - In Bye Bye Red Riding hood , she bewitched a love struck wolf and in Tadpole and the Whale , she talked to a winsome dolphin named Elvar. Lea Thompson wavered between brown and red hair , much like her look alike Mare Winningham , in Some Kind of Wonderful she was the school princess whose popularity hinged on dating sly , skunk Hardy. And on t.v. in the late 80's two teen knockouts on top rated sitcoms made the color red desirable , Khystyne Haye on Head of the Class had a streaming mane of crinkly, gorgeous red hair while on Just the Ten of Us , curvy Jamie Lerner was a ditzy redhead with freckles and a cute giggle who managed to snare every boy with a simple , promising Hi-yee! , Jenny Lewis had a flash in the pan career as a freewheeling preteen , sweet and popular in Troop Beverly Hills she’s torn between her flashy mom and practical father during their turbulent divorce , while in The Wizard she plays a plucky independent young girl named Hayley who forges a financial partnership with Fred Savage and his brother a wizard at Nintendo games. Robyn Lively whose hair also fluctuated between red and brown went to extremes in Wildcats by dying it a punk- florescent red , and in Teen Witch her frizzy locks and spiky bangs are transformed by a spell into the perfect (i.e. impossible - because nobody could accomplish this perm without careful curling every day! ) perm.
Some even went red for a moment - Melanie Griffith, at first poster glance could be mistaken for the title’s model - Cherry 2000 but she plays a rough hewn tracker in a distant future competing for a man whose off to find a replacement love-bot. Eventually he comes to find Melanie’s red head is a darn sight better than any flaky , empty headed robot’s.
Oh! And let’s not forget! A couple of faux stars of the 80's both red heads the beautiful Cheryl Blossom from the Archie comics who seems a perfect foil for Veronica being richer and nastier bragging that she not only paints her car to match her nails but also will cut up a mink coat for carpeting. The other scarlet princess of celluloid is Kimber from Jem and The Holograms , the younger sister of Jem/ Jerrica and like Daphne in Scooby Doo always seems to be in need of rescuing.

Fifth Grade Stars - a little about the artwork. I don’t think Bullseye did much other than Fifth Grade Stars - maybe younger fiction but I don’t have them listed in any of the hundreds of series I picked out. The series logo graphic is fair but a little obscure what is that box supposed to be? A stomped on diamond? The side view of a pencil? It doesn’t compete well against Sleepover Friends plumped up pillow , or Fabulous Five’s coiled notebook , or even the simplicity of the Taffy Books with their over sized cover art and plain author band. The first cover art is done by Vince Natale , and the rest ( of my copies at least ) are done by Susan Tang. Though the first cover is pretty good the expressions of agony on the Stars listening to Holly sing is well done with one of the twins in back hiding her face and cringing with disbelief. But the front part of Amy? Jan? Karen’s? Cotton pants look so baggy you’d think she was wearing diapers! Though I love Holly’s tiered white skirt and turned up collar on her pink top. I found one of these vintage tiered skirts , black lace it was fabulous! Susan Tang does a bit of a better job book number 2 has the girls hammering in a yard sale sign with two cute dogs on a leash , one dog has a bit of torn paper in his mouth from the book just under his feet - this cover however looks posed - all three girls are smiling out at the reader as if they were having their picture taken. Fashion wise - Beth’s outfit is super bizarre & super cool! A pink and orange striped sweater vest with a thick cinched part at the bottom. ( I remember these it was sort of like a sack dress you could push it up and kind of poof out your sweater though thinking back now I’m not really sure why looking like a balloon was in!) Orange leggings , pink and orange layered slouch socks. Mismatched pink and orange high tops. Two long necklaces one dangling a gold heart the other an enormous red star. Embarrassing to admit but I too , did what Jan did - check out Jan’s jeans - she’s tucked them into her slouch socks , yes I admit it , this was actually a style! It was horrible , your ankles looked like they had the mumps and you panicked whenever your jean cuffs had escaped quickly cramming them back in until your slouch socks had no more staying power , what’s left of their elastic was shot and they’d slither off your feet at the most impractical moment - running to spike a volley ball and by the end of the game your socks were jammed in one tiny section of empty shoe space in front of your big toe! #4 - Barrettes and big bangs and extra long t shirts! #5 My favorite cover. I’m assuming the one in the turquoise is the infamous Amy with the wild wardrobe - That whale-spout ponytail! That took some finesse to accomplish first if you’re hair wasn’t layered it didn’t work , which is why whenever you see this style in older 80's movies it’s usually with someone who has a perm. Amy’s outfit is way cool - printed turquoise top over black turtleneck , blue pedal pushers cuffed , ankle socks and squiggle earrings. I’m not quite sure of the other characters in the picture are - from the look of despair clasping her cheeks pre-Home Alone style - I’ll take a stab that it’s Karen , get a load of that sweater - Black with sleeves that from half way down the arms turn into black and white stripes! I think Sara , one of the twins, is the one with her hand on her hip - her finger is too long it looks like she’s holding a carrot! Check it out. What gets me most about these covers is they didn’t even try to do anything eye catching why didn’t they stick their series logo in a big bright star - who knows , a jazzier cover might have made the series last longer the stories were just as interesting as any of the books that hung on past six books.


FIFTH GRADE STARS #1 - The Holly Hudnut Admiration Society.
Jan Bateman who loves to cook and lives under the shadow of her allstar older brother hopes upon hope that at her new at school , which she takes the Sugar Tree Acre’s Route school bus to, that she’ll make some friends. She meets the redheaded twins Beth and Sara Greenfield and Amy Danner whose first outfit - A day-glo orange t-shirt with a turquoise blouse over it , a short black skirt , turquoise socks , black hightops and a plastic earring shaped like a banana dangling from one ear - is enough to make Jan question wether or not she wants this possibly color blind girl as her new friend. Not five minutes into her school Jan finds herself at odds over a reserved seat for the all important Holly Hudnut - leader of the Clovers a rich clique of girls who all wear their hair in side ponytails- Ever wear one of these? Now mind you I’m not sure I like the side ponytail slur these books tend to give , I always thought it looked stylish for a while , wearing them was another issue , it made you not only feel lopsided but as if the invisible man was trying to yank your head to one side. I could only last long enough to make an entrance than pull it out. - Jan feels miserable that she’d already made enemies of all the most popular kids. But she earns some points with the boys who call Holly - Holly Hitler. One funny spot is when their nervous art teacher tells them to draw a picture that reveals something about themselves - Jan decides to draw a food dish?! Chef Hubert’s shrimp and rice casserole?! but the girls think it looks like a dish full of fingers. Amy on the other hand has a very cool art concept called LIPSTICKS IN SPACE! Like a lipstick advertisement which doesn’t sit well with Mrs. Crossley.( Great name for a cross teacher - like Mrs. Crabapple!) Though Jan admires Amy’s bizarreness she can’t help but ask the obvious - Aren’t you worried what the others will think of you? To which Amy answers ‘Why should I care what some girl who wears plaid skirts and penny loafers think.’ - Right on! I always despised that whole preppy look I tried it once cause one of my friends got into it and she always looked super neat , my hair would never stay untangled for two seconds - I’m not sure what I thought wearing preppy clothes would do to my hair but I though maybe my hair could I don’t know be tricked into cooperating once it seen me in my skirt and blouse and
penny loafers maybe it would just calm down with defeat and say we’re not going to be having any fun around her , she looks studious. I lasted about one week in my penny loafers before chucking them to the back of my closet. Isn’t it awful what you do to fit in - I mean I loathed the look of them , they looked like men’s funeral shoes and yet girls were supposed to clump around in them and then supposedly smart girls , these were the ones wearing this junk, decided to leave off wearing socks with them , dumb! Because of course you bought them wearing socks so they never quite fit right and they not only gave you all sorts of blisters they made your feet sweat eventually making your shoes smell! And those awful pennies! What was worse then asinine atrocity , other penny-loafer wearing clones and even the non-penny-loafer-wearing clones ( of the jelly shoe & flip flop club - of which I am a proud long standing member ) shook their head cause they thought their was nothing sadder than a dull penny stuck in your slot. I made a quick recovery back to jellies which by the way some say are no better than penny loafers , they made your feet sweat , they gave blisters and would break two days after you bought them - I didn’t care you got to wear socks with them great , kooky socks! - Where was I oh yes - Jan then gets a note tossed onto her desk that isn’t meant for her - why is it no matter who hates who we’re supposed to deliver notes in school like we’re suddenly some sort of neutral zone? The note mentions a party and for one glorious second Jan assumes she’s been invited only to realize she’s to pass it on. Major embarrassing. After gathering to talk about it with her new found ( hesitant to be ) friends , Jan marvels at Karen’s beige colored house , and matching dog called Oatmeal , while Amy steams at the thought of not being invited , ‘Who does she think she is , Little Miss Preppy?’Though they decide to start their own club Jan is reluctant to make a commitment. One of the name suggestions is get this - The Fabulous Five - think the girls are fans of the Taffy Sinclair books? As their meeting gets sidetracked they mention a rock star called King Zero which I couldn’t help but think was a subtle Prince slam , and can’t come up with a reason for their club they do what most clubs do and cut-up Holly and the rest of the Clovers. The side story begins to unravel at the twins house were identical redheads Beth and Sara live with younger siblings Amanda & Jeffery , dogs - Skippy & Emmaline , guinea pigs - Arthur & Guinevere , an old toothless cat named Clementine , a turtle named Herkie who spends most of his time hogging the tub , and two goldfish Martha and George. Beth is the animal lover , Sara is more content to jot down things in a notebook - namely a story she’s been having more fun saying she’s writing than actually writing ( happens to a lot of writers ) it’s about Tiffany Vandermere and reformed pirate Sean MacNeill. ( I tried this in school once managing to complete two whole pages about a torrid love scene between a busty red head , I can’t remember her name and a hunk whose name I can never forget Sebastian - I always thought Sebastian was the most dashing name in the world. ) , Sara with her Harriet the Spy- like notebook it’s not a wonder that she doesn’t start imagining the next door neighbor with the bad toupee is some sort of vampire , especially when he carries groceries into his garage and she spots a coffin. Faster then you can say Ala Peanut Butter Sandwiches - sorry - flashback from Sesame Street - It’s later discovered by her sister who reads her notes that he’s a magician. One of the neat parts of the story is how when Jan after making an impression on the athletic Mary Rose , she manages to wrangle an invite to Holly coveted birthday party and though her friends are upset that she’s going , they don’t turn it into an ultimatum - drag out the old - if-you-were-my-friend-you-wouldn’t-go , dust off the moth balls and throw in a - it’s-either-us-or-them instead they have to admit they all would like to go and probably would if they’d been invited. But Jan realizes that not only is the party a snooze , the boys are uncooperative , but that her real friends aren’t there or are they? The magician shows up with a disguised Beth as his assistant , who met Beth when she snuck into his garage to release his rabbits back into the wild! Who does that? The highlight of the party was when Holly’s present from Pete , a big fat snail gets loose - 'Jan noticed that Pete’s snail had escaped and was happily forging a highway through the pink and white icing atop the remains of the cake. It was in snail heaven.’ I love that line forging a highway! The book ends with a talent show in which Beth is a hit , showing off some of the tricks the magician showed her while Holly sings a song that inadvertently makes her sound totally arrogant. Good guys win , villainess is made a fool , all's right in preteen fiction.

FIFTH GRADE STARS #2 - Rent-a-Star
While the girls complain about fish again in the cafeteria - I’ll have to write something about cafeteria it fascinates me - was it really that awful? There was no cafeteria in any of my grade schools everyone either walked home for lunch which for a lot of grades I did , or brought a lunch , we get an update on what Amy’s got on and in her purse today. First off everyone knows what’s in Amy’s purse cause it’s a see-thru plastic pocketbook! Does anyone out there know the difference between a purse and a pocketbook - I’m assuming they’re one and the same the only difference being that the person who calls it a pocketbook is only slightly older than the
one who calls it a purse but still younger than one calling it a handbag. Sometimes I think though , that pocketbook could be exactly the right term for an 80's purse cause those flat color
coordinated things looked like giant envelopes on thing little straps. This is the contents of Amy’s purse /pocket book ‘ , change , a purple styling brush , a pin that said BUMMER , a pink flamingo hair clip like the one already in her brown curls , and a key chain with I ( heart ) chocolate stamped on it.’ This is what Amy is wearing a cartoon printed jumpsuit with the cuffs rolled up to the tops of her AllStar Converse. Groan! Name brand! This is the one name brand that really bugged me in the 80's , while others can moan about not getting Chic jeans or not
having Jordache or Levis’ AllStar Coverse hightops were one of those trends that brought out the ugly in well just about everyone. They were nice shoes , I loved the colors - banana yellow , bright green ( in one book it was described as poison green ) , turquoise , hot pink , red , orange , but they were so expensive - for a canvas shoe. And like most trends the kids had to bump it up a notch - okay you were cool if you had a pair but if you had two and three pairs and wore them mismatched you were considered awesome. Awesome? Over a pair of shoes. One of the low moments of childhood is actually trying to scramble to measure up under this fascist mentality. I didn’t beg for a pair of converse , I just liked the color and brand name meant nothing to me ( or so I thought ) so I bought a pair of rip off’s called Panthers , they were essentially the same shoe
except for the little black silhouette of the panther on the side and the same hot pink color. Whew! Those panthers might as well have been bullseyes , kids I didn’t even know would come up to me just to sneer Panthers what are those? (Well , duh , they’re these animals see- ) , can’t you afford Converse , no I should’ve replied and neither can you , your mommy and dadums bought them. Ugh! There was nothing quite as annoying in grade school as a kid acting like he was rich! Something like that usually sent me on some panicky spiral wondering if I should ditch them and just return to ordinary sneakers but no , I liked them and used them till they wore out. They were my favorite sneakers - even if they were rip-offs. - Back to Fifth Grade - the girls are eating in the cafeteria Beth brought peanut butter and jelly on rye?! And as they overhear Holly telling her cohorts that her mother allowed them to turn the room over the garage into a clubhouse , the Stars start fuming that they should have a clubhouse. Amy compares Holly to something out of Leave it to Beaver with her preppy ensemble , pleated plaid skirt , fuzzy sweater , penny loafers. Amy still can’t believe she isn’t popular at this school since her club the go-go’s! ( I can’t get too worked up over that for a while some girls in my class started a would-you-believe a Unicorn club! ) ruled the school. Amy is famous for her mismatched high tops ( I forgive you ) , personally designed glitter t-shirts and necklaces spray painted gold - this must have been in a magazine some where cause Beth does the very same thing in the Fabulous Five - mall madness. During chorus Pete the resident troublemaker passes out lyrics to the Beastie boys , fight for your right to party! Beats what was mandatory - we are the world?! Holly despises both Pete and his friend Matthew and calls them Rocky and Bullwinkle ( Mattthew’s ears do stick out.) But it’s Matthew who tells the Stars of a cabin near their suburb that might make a good club house , but his slight compliment to Amy that she would be handy fixing it up rubs her the wrong way and Amy has it out for him the rest of the book declaring that if a boy who thinks the one eyed one horn flying purple people eater song is the best ever written he has no taste. This said before she can even get a clue that he’s crushing on her. The hundred year old cabin turns out to be a great little building and the girls decide to put up flyers - Rent-a-Star offering to do odd jobs to pay to fix it up. ( Anyone out there ever do that? Put up flyers with friends offering to do odd jobs - I did , twice , my friends got called to house clean and haul beach rocks to a garden and then in grade six we tried it again unfortunately we included our names on the add - now my friends and I didn’t have the plain Jane Mary names in a list they look pretty seductive like an escort list and it must have got some fella’s mouth watering because my mom who didn’t know we’d put up the flyer came up to me all amused saying you got a job. I was pretty excited until my mom , rather grim faced went on he requested me and my friend ( a pause , you put your names on the flyer? ) to clean his apartment and he said he would pick us up in his red corvette( say what how does that even enter the conversation - what an operator! ) - and that afterwards he would take us out for drinks , my mother than informed him we were eleven years old , he fumed all those imaginary plans spoiled , I of course was begging mom why not , why couldn’t we clean his apartment and ride in his red corvette , he hung up and that ended our short business venture. I was quite sulky , so was my best friend , we reasoned he could’ve taken us out for Pepsi! ) As the Stars are putting up their flyers they run into Holly at the library who is going to help out at the book fair , sounding like such a sainted giver that Amy blurts out that they’re there to sign up for the book fair too , say what?! Her friends do a double take since it’s news to them. Then regaining their fighting stance they brag that they’ve got their own clubhouse with a fireplace , Holly agog recovers to deliver this last zinger eyeing their flyers - Do you do bathrooms? ( only if you’re the toilet brush. Well of course they didn’t say that. But I couldn’t resist. ) Their first job is cleaning the attic , Kowabunga! Beth cries when she sees all the junk , of a bristly old woman named Mrs. Ross ( why is it in stories bristly old women always turn out to be kindhearted underneath their grumpy crust , I knew several crotchety old woman who underneath had onion layers of grumpiness. ) the junk is to be thrown out so Mrs. Ross can get rid of the mice , but Beth decides to do it safely bringing a safe mouse trap to school to bring to Mrs. Ross’s , spotting it , Holly manages a clever jibe - trying to get new members for your club? Matthew tells them not to throw out the stuff they have a gold mine sell it , the girls ask Mrs. Ross if it’s okay , she says yes. Jan’s hunky Uncle Robert comes to access the repairs to the clubhouse and offer to fix it up for them. At the garage sale the girls make over three hundred dollars managing to just juggle it and the book fair , baking brownies only to discover the land on which their clubhouse is sitting is being surveyed. All that ends well - you just know the girls will get to keep the clubhouse and it’s not a shocker when you come find out it belongs to Mrs. Ross who was going to sell it but decided after meeting the girls to donate the land as a park after the girls finish using it. Oh - one laugh out loud scene is when Matthew buys a moth eaten moose head at the yard sale and the next day in school , Holly is screaming take that down! Take that down , the Stars look up and see that Matthew has put the moose head high above the chalkboard. And the moose is wearing a blonde wig in a side ponytail!

FIFTH GRADE STARS #3 - Crazy Campout ( don't have yet )


FIFTH GRADE STARS #4 - Twin Trouble
Sara is going through an identity crisis when both twins are forced to abandoned their room to accommodate an upcoming baby and move into the den downstairs. Beth assures her mother it’s okay looking on the bright side they’ll have the entire downstairs to themselves thought Sara clutches her stuffed unicorn and wishes her twin wouldn’t speak for her as if they were one person. Amy’s wildest outfit yet - An orange jumpsuit made out of parachute cloth , and her hair was tied up with five neon green pipe cleaners - Claudia Kishi eat your heart out! A Sesquicentennial is coming up that will include the grade schools which includes among a fair , a boat competition that the girls want to enter. The school librarian informs them they will have to write an essay on What River Grove means to me and the student with the best paper will be made honorary mayor of the Sesquicentennial - to which the boys promptly offer what they would do if they were mayor , Anyone with a side ponytail goes straight to jail! I like their attitude! Holly gets her revenge as only a teacher’s pet can - wait till Teach , isn’t looking trip the boy and get him sent to the principals office for creating a disturbance - ‘Holly could commit the perfect crime - the girls say , ‘no adult would ever believe she’d done it.’ Then as the girls are working on their raft , Mrs. Hudnut phones but Beth thinks it’s a prank and quickly replies ‘Sure it is , Matthew you Turkey!’ of course after that Beth can barely get her composure back after realizing it is Mrs. Hudnut asking out of desperation for the twins to replace another set who’ve come down with chicken pox , for her pageant. Beth agrees for both her and Sara thinking of the trophy they’ll win , ( the Sesquicentennial quickly turns into a competition of how many trophies they can win away from the Clovers ) , but Sara is furious , she doesn’t want to be on stage and Beth’s dismissal of her feelings is the last straw. Sara gets up in the middle of the night and dyes her hair pitch black! Only a rinse but the side effects of being forced to wash it out turn her hair slightly green - ( how does this always happen with redheads in movie's or books - my hair was red and I dyed my at least five different shades - black , brown , light brown , blonde , blondissima , sun-in and nothing ever happened like that - in fact nothing ever happened my hair up until I turned twenty was absolutely immune to dye , it was like trying to dye copper wire!) - Which at least gets her out of the pageant. Without the help of any adults their raft sinks to the bottom of the river , but not before dunking - Amy , Jan and Beth into the water right in front of the Clover’s of course. Holly cracks ‘I’ll bet I can guess your theme 20,000 leagues under the sea'. Since it’s too late to build a new raft they take one look at the boys raft and manage to finagle riding with them. Knowing they need a theme they decide to use Holly’s idea of 20,000 leagues under the sea knowing it will infuriate Holly if they win with her idea. Beth with her still green hair is transformed into a mermaid and the girls make fun pirate clothes by cutting the edges of their jeans and wearing striped tops. Part of the fun of the boat tour is launching water balloons at the other boaters. Though the book doesn’t say - it’s impossible to stack water balloons on top of each other without them breaking they have to be sitting in a water cooler or some sort of tub filled with water to keep them intact. - Beth’s mother has her baby - baby Jessica and Sara wins the composition competition to represent the school. And while the girls stop to watch a pie eating contest ( how to Lauren Hunter from Sleepover Friends miss out on one of these ) , Jeffery the five year old wanders off with the baby carriage and enters Jessica in a beautiful baby contest under the name of G.I. Joe! And wins! As for the girls they have fun launching water balloons at the Clovers whose raft’s prissy theme is bicycle built for five! I often wondered sometimes knowing girls like this if they weren’t influenced more by the adults around them they by their own creative power - In the story the raft is being designed for them which sort of gives away to the too-cuteness of it. Of course the Clover’s have a trick up their sleeve they don’t have water balloon they have a water cannon. But in typical Susan Saunders fashion the girls don’t exactly win but they don’t exactly loose either.


FIFTH GRADE STARS #5 - Star Reporter
When the teacher asks them to do a group project that represents cooperation , the girls are stumped by this but Amy in her hot pink rain slicker does a cartwheel having come up with a winning idea - A newspaper. Though the others think it’s a good idea Karen is reluctant , she’s been through this before and doesn’t want to get stuck doing the work for everyone or being called bossy when she wants to keep on schedule.( Anyone remember this component to school group projects? - unfortunately while I can sympathize with Karen I know at the same time I was one of the shirkers , always trying to cut corners , and especially falling off topic - which the girls do - They start talking about Brenda the horse lover whose wardrobe includes: horseshoe earrings , a belt with a brass horsehead buckle , and pony patterned socks. Even the girls say her plaid skirt looked like a horse blanket. ( I do remember the 80's being pony / horse crazy - not just with the pastel-tattooed My Little Ponies , but with those flocked plastic model horses every serious horse lover had sitting on their desk! Horse books , ) As they agree not to make the paper about cutting up the Clover’s ( Awww! ) they decide it’ll be about serious stories.( Zzzzz! ) Karen goes over to the twins house early in the morning to walk them to the bus , loving the chaos of their busy household. When she comes in , Beth calls from the shower asking Karen to bring her , her robe while Herkie the turtle is nearby swimming in a saucer. Karen catches Beth accidently washing her hair with dog shampoo who laughs about it , Karen says you’re outrageous. ( Of course anyone who has a pet can sympathize with this On the field trip to the t.v. station they meet a makeup lady who volunteers to do someone’s face Roxanne who is ‘makeup mad’ vaults into the chair , among the highlights of the trip are Holly yanking the microphone away from the host and singing the theme song of a cheesy fake t.v. show that one of the guests star on , causing fellow guest a monkey to clasps his hands over his ears! Holly fumes ‘did you see that monkey - he acted just like an - an animal!’ After Karen meets poised reporter Stacey Chandler she decides that she would like to be a reporter causing all sorts of problems when she suspects their teacher Mr. Carson is dating Stacey Chandler after a rumor and coincidences pile up. When Mr. Carson asks them to tell them their thoughts about the show the monkey is brought up and one boys says his cousin Linda had a monkey that got into her makeup and put on gobs of purple eyeshadow causing Matthew to turn and look at Roxanne also wearing gobs of purple eyeshadow - looks like that monkey was smart enough to be a Clover. Other scenes include the Clovers project which is being cheerleaders for the soccer team. The girls bored with waiting their turn at the word processor decide to help Amy make meringues?! ( who at 11 years old ever attempts anything gourmet? Me and my friends were lucky if box mix cake batter made it into the oven! ) Amy chases her friends with egg yolks getting silly - now that I can relate to! - Karen is stuck typing out the articles while her friends ‘punk out on her’ for Invasion of the Body snatchers. Karen adds some ‘funny things’ to the paper such as Beth using dog shampoo and Jan admitting she hates football ( her father is a coach and her brother a star player! That’s the type of info that good really make things uncomfortable at home.) Mr. Carson talks to her and gently tells her she followed rumors that he and Stacey graduated together and are on the same reunion committee. Stacey calls to tell her , she sort of feels responsible for not telling her how a good reporter should act. They are invited on the show - causing the girls to forgive Karen fast , Beth brings two of her pets Herkie and the mouse Harold who runs up Brian Jones’s sleeve. Beth gives Harold to Karen - who calls him Snowball knowing it’s a pet her mother won’t mind. The end - is That’s why we’re stars , stars till the end. Though Susan Saunders didn't write this book it reminds me of the Sleepover Friends motto - Sleepover Friends Forever!



I don’t have books #3 & #6 to rate though they look & sound interesting - #3 -Crazy Campout is fairly obvious ( I love Camp books! Though I think this one is merely a camp out not a going to camp book - I would’ve loved A Sleepover Friends Super Edition on a Camp theme story maybe even a crossover book would've been fun if you can even do that in series fiction - Sleepover Friends go to Camp Sunnyside!) #6 - The Goofy Gamble - I’m not sure what it’s about but the girls are seen on the cover struggling in a tug of war so I'm just guessing it's probably some town picnic or something.


This series was one part Fabulous Five - two opposing clubs constantly clashing ( in fact in book 1 they consider the name Fabulous Five for their club ) , and two parts Sleepover Friends with which it bore several similarities - see for yourself.
FIFTH GRADE S.T.A.R.S. VS. THE SLEEPOVER FRIENDS
- River Grove - Riverhurst
- A Sesquicentennial - a Bicentennial
- twins Beth & Sara Greenfield - twins Emma & Jeremy Green ( babies ) main character is Stephanie Green
- Side Ponytails ( the clovers ) - side ponytails appear twice ( the polka dots music group which the girls Lip sync , and a make over by Christy )
- Eliminated by chicken pox #4 - # 29 - Kate The Boss ( Ginger comes down with the dreaded pox )
- humiliated by water - #4 - #6 - Kate’s Campout ( The creepy Norwood boys strike! )
- Pete McBride - the old McBride house & Pete Stone
- Helping boys out in a competition allowing them the prize #4- #27 - Where’s Patti
- Mother’s have babies before important events #4 - # 17 - Patti Get’s Even
- Comparing babies to wrinkled up monkey’s #2- #18 - Stephanie and the
Magician
- same sly wit - when they spot Holly without her side ponytail Amy mutters , ‘And I always thought that rubber band was holding her head on.’ & Ginger glancing at the Sleepover Friends
‘Now we know bowling is way uncool.’
‘Only if your way bad’ Lauren mumbled loud enough for her to hear.
- The main prize escapes them #4 -#20 - Lauren in the Middle. ( Karla gets the beautiful denim jacket.)
- Jan’s older brother is a basketball star - Lauren’s brother plays basketball
- Holly calls Pete & Matthew - Rocky & Bullwinkle - Lauren’s dog is called
Bullwinkle & her cat , Rocky
- Olsen’s store - Michelle Olsen
- Karen has a lamp that beams the constellation onto her ceiling -#26 - The New Kate - Bitsy has a makeshift lamp that beams the constellation on the ceiling.
- Karen a sci-fi freak often brings up plots as weird parallels to situations - Kate does the same
thing occasionally with movie plots.
- A hunky Uncle Robert ( both with moustaches) - a hunky Uncle Nick
- Karen cleans Jan’s brother’s room for $ - the girls clean Roger’s room for $
- A weenie roast in a fire place #2 - #6 - Kate’s Campout
- Holly is petite and pretty with an occasionally annoying voice - Jenny is petite and pretty with
An annoying voice

If you're feeling nostalgic for the fifth grade sneak read these books , only a hundred and so odd pages , breezy fun , and can be found if your diligent on Ebay , or especially Abe.

TASTE THE 80'S : ICE CREAM & TAFFY SINCLAIR

Sometimes my mouth waters for the distinct taste of Hostess potato chips - Hot Barbecue or Hot Stuff Mister Vickies but sadly both flavors have gone the way of the dinosaur - Dinosaur Eggs that is ( candy pun! ) , and are now extinct. Some flavors though not really 80's will always stick in your mind as 80's cause you ate them when you were a kid. Like Cheez-whiz on toast.Other flavors and candy while not entirely 80's have had their moment and are now in a long line of discontinued flavors like - Cantalope , Honey- Vanilla , Carob and Gumdrop ice cream. Gumdrop I think was discontinued because the frozen gumdrops were like shrapnel on your teeth , gimmicky ice cream flavors like ketchup and chili were fast withdrawn ( for good reason ) and names like Baskin-Robbins Sesame Sweet were created to highlight specific fads or favored image icons. Other candy items like chocolate Bonkers , and Dr. Pepper gum are gone but for me even though it’s still around purple soap gum , Thrills will always be an 80's treat.

What sparked this taste bud tingling trip down candy lane?
Taffy Sinclair Strikes Again - Betsy Haynes - The sequel to the much raved about and popular The Against Taffy Sinclair club. The story was filled with all kinds of things ( which will be discussed later ) like Halloween costumes , The beginnings of the Fabulous Five and a make-shift Slam book. But the one scene that got me reminiscing about old flavors is on page 63 where Jana’s mom takes her to an ice cream shop that promises 45? Flavors. Jana debates between her two favorite flavors - bubblegum and peanut butter and jelly - the later of which she can’t stand to look at when she’s eating cause brown ice cream streaked with purple is just too gross. While her mom orders a single scoop of coconut almond mocha , she eenie-meenie-minie-moed and wound up with peanut butter and jelly which she ate with her eyes shut! I love the fact that Jana can just sit there in a shopping mall licking an ice cream cone with her eyes shut and not care if it looks goony or not - And Jana in the Taffy Sinclair books is always super-worried about how she
looks. Jana loses some of her goofiness in the Fabulous Five books like she didn’t turn from twelve to thirteen but twelve to sixteen her immaturity and knack for getting herself into potentially embarrassing situations has melted away much like certain ice cream flavors.

Ah! Childhood the land of freaky ice cream flavors - Tiger tail? Anyone still get that? Whenever I can find in a liter box of Chapman’s I buy it - melon / cantaloupe flavor striped with licorice! It’s one of my favorites along blue bubblegum , cotton candy , apple pie , banana split , mint chocolate chip , boston cream pie and Heavenly hash.

I love trying out new recipes and new things and decided after buying a very 80's single serving ice cream maker to try and make an ice cream flavor that reflected , for me - the 80's. Nerds ice cream? No I think that’s been done , Candy mixed in was too Dairy-Queen blizzard , and though I thought seriously about dumping in lik-m-aid or maybe even crushing up the yummy lik-m-aid sticks ( which have a very unique flavor) ,I came back to my old favorite and settled on soap gum - That’s right I made SOAP GUM ICE CREAM.

If you’re in the mood for something bizarre try it out! It’s creamy and has the distinct taste of soap gum , almost as if you were eating a melty soap gum Creamsicle!

SOAP GUM ICE CREAM RECIPE
½ Pint of Milk
½ Pint of Heavy Cream
4 egg yolks
100 grams of Sugar
2 to 3 packages of Thrills soap gum.

Put gum in a pot pour enough water in to cover the soap gum , set it on a medium heat till all the purple coating has melted off and scoop out the gum , careful if you leave it too long the gum starts to break down and get sticky like marshmallows! After you’ve scooped out the gum , boil the purple juice for a while till it shrinks down to about 100 grams ( two or three tablespoons ). Set aside , let cool. In another pot , slowly bring milk to a slow boil ( watch for scalding! ) add soap gum juice. Set aside. In a bowl , beat together the egg yolks and the sugar till they thicken pour milk mixture over egg yolk mixture , stir , and pour back into pot , heat , super gently when mixture makes a film over your spoon then it’s done. Set it aside and let it cool. Take a chilled mixing bowl pour in the cool pudding like mixture and then stir in the cream. Add to ice cream maker. Voila! ( Now the color is like a very pale lilac - it looked terrific a very bright mauve till the cream was poured in so if you want to emphasis the color you’ll have to drop in some food dye. )

Why not alter the recipe and get crazy?! Dr. Pepper ice cream , Skittles ice cream ,
Red hots cinnamon ice cream! Let your imagination run wild it's a fun way of incorporating a childhood treat into a new fun dessert!

EVERYONE HAS A NOGGIN!

In Sleepover Friends #30 Big Sister Stephanie - Kate’s annoying little sister Melissa strikes up a temporary hero-worship of the always stylish Stephanie. Seeing her , as any fashion mentor would see her , as a new candidate for an overhaul , Stephanie happily hangs out with Melissa picking out her winter coat and matching boots in her favorite color trio , the very 80's Red , Black and White. Stephanie even pushes her to be in Kate’s new video and coordinates a dance routine , this starts to pall when Melissa quickly loses interest and insists on Noggin ( I laughed like crazy when I read that name Noggin! ) her stuffed animal being in the scene. Of course Stephanie is too cool to be seen dancing with an eight year old and a stuffed bear and calls it quits after an attempt to get her to let go of her stuffed animal and refocus.
I couldn’t help noticing that though Stephanie was commenting on how babyish carrying around a stuffed animal was , she is only in fifth grade and it probably wasn’t long ago that she was clutching her own teddy bear or doll , though knowing Stephanie I imagine she was a Jem & the Holograms collector! I had my own set of teddy bears and though I didn’t sleep with them - they had their own specially made beds , it brought to mind how very fashionable stuffed animals were in the
80's.

You had Gund - remember the catch-phrase Gotta get a Gund - banned because it sounded like Gotta get a gun , or Dakin , then it seemed like every cartoon character had their own stuffed replica. Here’s a small list - Wuzzles- they were a cross breed of two animals for instance Butterbear was cross between a butterfly and a bear and had wings and little flower antennae , Smurfs , E.T. ( everyone seemed to have a stuffed E.T. and the stuffed version with his big blue eyes was even cuter then the movie E.T. ) , Kissyfur , Foofur ( big blue hound dog ) , Purr-Tenders ( I always thought these were the lowest of the low marketing wise - they were mostly cats that wore masks pretending to be other animals so they would be adopted at the Pet store - too cute huh? And yeah like a feathery mask is going to convince me a cat is a bird. ) , Care Bears , pillow-like versions of Holly Hobby and Strawberry Shortcake , Ewoks - especially the adorable Wicket , Gummi Bears ( not the candy but the cartoon characters cute little guys from the knighthood era all with rhyming names - Grammi Gummi the old battleax gummi who couldn’t cook but knew how to make Gummi berry juice just right , Zummi Gummi the resident wizard wannabee who always fouled up his spells , Gruffi Gummi the bossy worker gummi , Tummy Gummi whose name gives away the fact that he loves to eat! Cubby gummi the youngest always up for adventure and Sunni Gummi the preteen whose blonde fur was whirled up top her
head like a perfect Vidal Sassoon , new wave haircut. ) , Rainbow Brite Sprites , The Get-a-long Gang - anyone remember these guys? ( they were based on characters made for greeting cards and were soon developed into a series ) the stuffed toys were rather stiff (along with their price ) but the great thing was they came with little removable roller skates! There were all kinds of Comic strip characters - Snoopy , Woodstock , Doonsbury , Ziggy , Heathcliff , Garfield. Muppet Babies - not just the ones that McDonalds offered , there were others before it , I got a Baby Fozzie for Christmas and the box was designed like a little high chair , super cute! Snorks - A rip off of the smurfs but I liked them , they looked like little , light bulbs with a bent little snorkle on top.
Teddy Ruxpin , Ducktales - Huey , Luey , Dewey and Webigail. My Pet Monster big blue furry monster - I thought the toy was bizarre looking but on t.v he was quite adorable. Alf , Winnie the Pooh , Shirt Tales ( another American Greeting card set of characters ) , Alvin & the Chimunks and other revivals of old characters ; Pink Panther , Flintstones - especially Dino , Bugs Bunny & all other Looney Tunes , not to mention Scooby Doo.) My Little Pony’s stuffed versions , Nosy Bears - with squeezable stomachs that made their see-thru plastic ball nose emit some sort of activity like turn a spiral ball inside , or shoot yellow plastic marbles from a minature popcorn container , Yawnies - bear or dog like things that had exaggerated yawning mouths and sleepy eyes ( cute but a bit of a bore ) , Popples ( I loved these guys - I’m not sure what they were kind of like patchwork day-glo bears with dog ears that had a pouch on their back so you could stuff them into a ball shape - the transformers for girls! They had cute names too - P.C. - Pretty Cool , Potato Chip , Party etc. ) Pound puppies - these were a pretty hot commodity for a while I think the toy spawned a show and not vice versa , one version of the toy had a little pouch inside the dog and when you purchased it there were little ‘puppies’ inside. Monchichi’s - awful , awful toy I hated these things everyone thought they were so cute - they were little monkeys but with strange little faces that seemed more kiddish than a Cabbage Patch Doll , Sesame Street characters ( and when Muppet Babies came out Sesame Street introduced baby Sesame Street characters , I had Big Bird but I cut off his bonnet and diaper? And used to make him little clothes and for some bizarre reason , I think it’s cause I couldn’t buy the real one I called Big Bird , Gonzo ) . Other character stuffed toys - Hello Kitty , Benji ( member the little dog mine came with a little plastic brush to keep his fur nice ) , Mickey Mouse - or rather Mickey Mouse Power - that’s what mine said on his t shirt , Pac-man and other arcade figures-Q-Bert , , Mario and Donkey Kong. Babar , Glo Worms and Lottsa Legs - really long bright caterpillars wearing fake colored sneakers on their cloth feet and terry-cloth legwarmers. Amtoy’s super pickle , Wrinkles , Keyper’s gimmicky toys - they had little plastic hollow centers with a key to lock away things ( all precious jewelry such as gumball rings and jelly bracelets) , Puffalumps , Hasbro Be Mores plush dinosaurs , Shamu whales , Roger Rabbit , Tyco Kitty Kitty Kittens , Yum Yums by Kenner ( bears and dogs and lions in pastel shades with candy printed tummies , ears and feet ), Kodak Kolorkins , Energizer bunny , Grabbits Kenner 1989 , Applauses' Sad eyed animals , Mattel Emotions animals - like Boo Hoo Hoo bear , Romper room characters like Kimble , Chubbles , Dakin Fun Farm Frou Frou , Amtoy Hamburger , As for the non character stuffed toys these were sold by the hundreds , they showed up in all the 80's department stores Woolco , K-Mart , Towers which even devoted one entire row to stuffed animals - they all had springy little elastic loops on their heads so that they could dangle from hooks in the pegboard , and the era’s favorite animals were - Pandas , unicorns , Bears , Koalas , racoons , horses , hippos and who knows what else. Some were even gimmicky -Hearts with little feet and googly eyes sold during Valentines Day , and lots of rabbits during Easter. There were even pillow type stuffed toys more for decorating your bed than anything - perhaps started by Don Knotts on Three’s Company check out his big face , Sly Cat head pillow! Window pane friends member those? , big lips , rainbows , shooting stars , a box of crayons , lifesavers , their was even a pattern booklet on how to knit your own pillows that looked like Allsorts Licorice ( you know the kind pink pentagon shaped candies with soft licorice centers) . Along the way their has been more and more bizarre stuffed toys I’ve come across 80's mail-away’s for Cap’tn Crunch , Dig ‘em ( the Frog from Sugar Smacks ) , Toucan Sam , Green Giant dolls ( if you’re drawing a blank reach into your fridge and see if there is a picture of a green giant on your bag of peas - that’s him ) , And get this a cob of Corn - you read right , your eyes haven’t deceived you a cob of corn , plus a pea pod and a giant Peach - Each one called Cobbie , Sweet Pea and Peachy and even more were put out by Del Monte.

I almost get a homesick pang walking down the toy aisle now , longing to see a stuffed toy aisle or even something reminiscent of the 80's. Of course one could argue the 80's weren’t perfect with all their Rambo machine gun kits and dancing flowers , so what , are those ugly Bratz dolls any better? Am I the only one that gets creeped out looking at those things - they look like ten year olds trying to achieve the look of a slutty twenty-eight old. At least Barbie with her phony measurements and purple eyeshadow looked like a moderately , relatable woman , and Maxie dolls and Hot Look dolls were just plain fun. They had the look of a best
friend.
I had a quartet of cherised stuffed toys one was a Snoopy ( I cut his ears into three strips , braided them , put blue eyeshadow over his black eyes , and made a strapless dress for him by cutting the end of a sleeve off a velour shirt , stuffing the top of the dress for boobs , he had now become and remained in my mind always as Stephanie.) There were others including my only Barbie doll a Peaches and Cream Barbie - I chopped her hair off shoulder length and called her Barb. And there was one bear I could never get my hands on he was extraordinarily pricey a Gund of course and he was this squat little bear Snuffles ( he was called ) , that sat on his rump with a little round circle patch on his tummy. He was super soft and came in two sizes large about the size of a big Popple and small about the size of a small Popple. There was this store near where I lived , it was one of those artsy 70/80's stores attached to a hotel. It was something to bring in the tourists you know the kind , hard wood floors to give it that General Store charm , home made crafts - member that 80's craft fad of using pantyhose material and making life size old people , or maybe cute potato faces for fridge magnets or pickled bums ( you read right - jars filled with little pantyhose stitched butts ), they had a whole room full of those ( the old people not the pickled bums ), plus quilts , wind chimes , sun catchers , rocking horses , elaborate kites , fancy book marks ,
painted beach stones , glass jars filled with flavored candy canes with every flavor imaginable , I loved root beer and watermelon , and then the stuffed toy nook , all devoted to Gund. I used to go there and ‘visit’ this toy ,I would pick up that toy having named him by now , Pudge , and would play sometimes luring my friends to join me , until the cashier would get annoyed and chase us out. I have since come across several Pudges but never one as soft , or as in good condition. Still looking.

I was very elaborate with my stuffed toy playing in fact I had created a whole other world for them luckily my best friend didn’t think I was insane and we both created some of my best memories just hanging out- no t.v., no texting , just playing. We gave each toy a name and a voice , they would talk to each other and have incredible adventures , I must say we had pretty good imaginations back then , but three t.v. channels and sharing what shows we watched with siblings makes one very creative. We made schoolwork booklets for the toys , they even took school tests and got report cards , when they passed notes we made them a dunce cap , we made elevators ( picnic baskets on a rope ) and sent them out the window , we made them tents and had them sleep outside , even tented outside ourselves never without the toys though , carved up a long box and using magic marker turned it into a school bus after which we pulled it through the orchard behind my house , taking them to the back reservoir and pretended they had gone on a class trip , ( Influnced by night soaps ) we even pretend they had murdered one of the stuffed animals complete with a trial , we took them on picnics , bike rides , slid them down the slides , swung them on the baby swings , they had birthdays , parties , and best yet we would have the stuffed animals call each other on the phone , I would say to my friend Miss Piggy wants to talk to Bear go get him , I didn’t doubt that she ran and got the bear rather than just talked in his voice.

I'm relived to know for sure I wasn’t the only one who created ‘identities’ for their stuffed toys , ever see the Polka Dot door? - I’m not sure if this is strictly a Canadian show or not but I’d watched it and it was one of those children’s shows like Sesame Street or Mr. Dressup ( I think that’s Canadian too ) and Today’s Special ( whoops Canadian again. ) The show featured a big creature-thing , I think it was supposed to be a green and yellow girrafe / kangaroo thing - okay I don’t know what it was but his name was Polkaroo. It also had two grown up hosts and four stuffed toys Humpty & Dumpty one of which looked like it’d gotten 80's funkified - he wasn’t black but grape giving him the appearance of a hip black humpty dumpy , Marigold a cloth doll , and a plain yellow Bear. The grown ups would maneuver the toys slightly and pretend to hear them talk and have them do things like a tea party of make a kite , it was one of the cutest shows because it wasn’t overly cute.
Though I think Barney the purple dinosaur got kinda a bad rap in the 90's , you just have to watch some of the shows prior to understand why , he and the kids just tried so hard!

A STUFFY DILEMMA

In The Fabulous Five # 11 Hit and Run - Jana clings to her Valentine bear Gorgeous ( a gift from Randy , her main squeeze ) while in the hospital after a hit and run. Randy himself lies in a coma having taken the brunt of the hit after pushing Jana out of the way. Jana sick with fear , reluctantly, at the pressuring of her folks and nurses , allows the screaming little girl in the bed next to her to cuddle it and cuddle it. The little girl won’t give it up for any substitute and I find it strange that a child separated from her parents after a car crash , wouldn’t have been given a toy from the children’s ward immediately to distract her - but then there wouldn’t be Jana’s wavering noble sacrifice. Would you let a little girl borrow your teddy at the very moment you felt you needed it?


BOXED AWAY BEARS?

I often wonder what doll Jessica would have cuddled and is now boxed away or hidden under a towering mess in the Hershey bar( nickname for her chocolate covered room - in earlier books) Or what Liz would have cherised for that matter. I see Liz as the Panda bear or the rag doll type perhaps a kindered goody goody? Holly Hobby? Jessica with some wretched furless bear that she’s been drooling on since she was three years old. Lila something bizarre - a pillow that looks like a giant credit card. Winston he’s a definite closet My Buddy lover. Bruce a Cabbage Patch doll named after himself or perhaps a left over from a home-ec class - sow your own Porche with 1BRUCE1 embroidered plates.

Doll cuddlers can be seen in movies old and 80's not just children clutching them but teens - check out the vintage ultra cool Katherine Hepburn flick Stage Door ( I can mention this I first seen on Family Channel in the 80's ) , Ginger Rogers blocks out the annoying neon light flashing into their room with a mask all while clutching a little rag doll in her arms. The title Valley Girl of the 1984 flick cuddles a very spooky looking clown doll to bed. D.J. on Full House has a Window pane pillow to hug , Stephanie has Mr. Bear and Sarah Jessica Parker mournfully clutches a bear while her father cuts off the tree limbs she has been using to escape out her window each night.See if you can spot the Popple in the Fred Savage movie Vice Versa , look fast.

I'VE FOUND THE REAL WAKEFIELD TWINS!

If you were as nutty as me as a kid , I loooooved the cover art of Sweet Valley High , you probably did insane stuff like I did - such as spread all the books out on your bed and line them up in order from favorite covers to least favorite or made mental useless lists like only four books other than some of the super editions and thrillers featured art work making up an actual picture: Most of the covers had the girls posing , making various faces of alarm , worry or triumph , prop objects like Jessica’s pink phone on the cover of Secrets , the mirror on the cover of Too Good Too be True or an ominous arm reaching for Liz on the cover of Kidnaped! Helped to allude to the plot-of-the-month. The books with actual pictures are ( out of books 1-100) , 38 - Leaving Home , in which Liz gazes wistfully at a poster of Switzerland in her room while Jessica watches in the hall , her face showing concern. 39- Secret Admirer. Penny standing in front of a bookstore checking her watch as she faces the fact she’s been stood up. 40- On the Edge - Regina with tears in her eyes gazes at the photo of Bruce on her side table. 56 - Jessica bedraggled looking like a drowned rat on an exotic beach for the cover of Lost at Sea. I also wondered if Jessica and Liz had been inspired by an actual model or a real live set of twins , the cover artist James Mathewuse couldn’t have just pulled the image out of his hat they were too consistent. Then years ago , on one of my scavenger hunts for used books I came across a Wildfire book called The Impossible Years and the puzzle was solved - for there he was Bruce Patman! I did a double take and snatched up the book which had a photo cover of both a male and female model perhaps I was seeing things but no, I bought it , took it home and couldn’t believe it , it really was Bruce Patman! I looked on the inside cover of the Wildfire book and it said photo by Owen Brown. He also did photo’s for Wishing Star books and Windswept I gathered up all my copies of Wildfire , Windswept and Wishing Star and began seeing if I could spot other Sweet Valley High characters. They may not be accurate but you be the judge some of the faces despite hair styles or expression are uncanny! The books - Bruce Patman on Wildfire’s The Impossible Love , Lila Fowler on Wildfire’s Christy’s Love , DeeDee Gordon on Wishing Star’s What About Me , Bill Chase on Wildfire’s Too Young to Know , Susan Stewart on Wishing Star’s Far From Home , Lynne Henry on Just You and Me , Enid Rollins on Wildfire’s Just a Summer Girl , Regina on Wildfire’s Saturday Night Date , and Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield on Wildfire’s Beautiful Girl.

ALL THAT GLITTERS - often tarnishes

All that Glitters series is the equivalant of a cream puff : spineless , mindless entertainment.
Never outwardly cruel or shocking to grab readers instead it merely floats along with characters
that are squeaky clean despite being famous actresses on a daytime soap. The series lasted from 1987-1988 and only had 8 books to it's credit.

Magic Time.

Take Two.

Flashback.

Love Lights.

Typecast.

Setup.

Upstaged

Award Night.

Nasty , sassy , princess of pout sizzles daytime declared the blurb on the cover of T.V. Talk # 5 unfortunately I cannot give Katie or her clan such rave reviews this series fizzles rather than sizzles like bursting soap suds. Each book goes back and forth between central characters Shana Bradbury & Katie Nolan best friends and stars of the soap All that Glitters. And the books promise with their fetching blurb- their lives are a soap opera on and off screen! But no more than Sweet Valley High , in fact Sweet Valley High one ups them , left , right and center. Shana Bradbury plays Jasmin Palavi a psychic on the soap ( though most soap scenes aren’t really shown rather implied ) instead the effects of the schedule and plot turns are more integral to their plots , her grandmother ( and guardian ) Edith Bradbury plays a character on the soap. Shana has a flaky , absent mother a faded actress who returns in book #4 to cause trouble , when her and a rival have a guest appearance on the show. Shana is the product of a May-December marriage between her mother and a Saudi Arabian prince Achmed who sends her a Kaffir cat , ) , a rare Egyptian breed which was used to guard palaces. The cat is called Nefertiti and spends most of book #4 in amusing stunts ‘protecting’ Shana. The cat was a birthday present for her 18th birthday but don’t get too worked up about her age it fluctuates through the series leveling off at age sixteen. Katie Nolan is Shana’s best friend , who , though a nice girl , plays the teenage vixen Alicia Gately which often causes battles between her levelheaded , lawyer father and her ex-model mother , Denise Nolan. In future books
Mrs. Nolan tries to live her life through Katie becoming a pushy , ‘stage’ mom. Kirk Tucker is Shana’s boyfriend a tennis pro who goes through an identity problem shedding his easy going manor becoming an uptight , image obsessed model in book #6. Katie’s boyfriend Mitch Callahan , her handsome co-star , has his own loft which causes some problems for Katie , the number one problem is that it’s deemed off limits by her parents and number 2 is that in book #7 Mitch’s ex-girl friend , nasty Nikki shows up and decides to move right in. Other characters came and went - the most stand out was Katie’s younger sister often called Little-bit ( whereas Shana & Katie were similar in tone in fact neither character had any, real standout features separating them , beyond their surroundings , but Little-bit or Jewel was feisty!) She worshiped her older sibling and wanted to include herself in whatever was going on , wether it was trying out for a part on All that Glitters in book #5 , much to her sisters chagrin , or trying to get rid of awful Nikki for Katie in book #7.

One of the main problems with All that Glitters is that though it says Kristi Andrews on the cover ( as writer ) don’t be fooled , like most 80's series they were written by many other writers using a one name pseudonym. Now , I’m not positive that All that Glitters was written by several people , I’m only going by what I read , and it reads like many people got a jotted dossier on what the series was about , but often forgot facts when it came time to type it out , ages fluctuated , facts changed , and most annoying was the habit each girl had of turning against their friend in an argument - If Katie was having a problem and turned on Shana she would be rational and calm in the next book Shana would have a problem and turn on Katie and Katie would become the calm , rational one. Their personalities were woefully , interchangable. Another problem was the fact that it played up like a teen series ala SVH but these were famous school girls , their boyfriends owned apartments wore suits and sent them crimson roses , they had money and went clubbing and yet things like drugs , sex and alcohol were hardly mentioned if they were mentioned at all. The focus was on fashion & scene - Katie & Shana two beautiful paper dolls dressed up , were manipulated around the scenery like Barbie Color-forms.
Here's some 80's fashion.
#4 - brown leather skirt and apricot mohair sweater.
#5 - Jewel’s black mini skirt & sweater with electric blue stockings made her feel artistic. , Jewel’s Alicia costume - thigh high butter soft black leather skirt , a flimsy fuchsia blouse , bangles , large hoop earrings , flashy sunglasses pushed back like a hair band. Jewel’s lime
green mini dress
#6 - Shana’s high button ankle boots
#8 - Shana’s thigh high black suede leather boots are a hunk magnet.

80's soundtrack for All that Glitters.

With all the mention of Shana's cat Nefertiti and Egyptian background I can’t help humming Walk like an Egyptian of course I might not have thought of it but wait there’s more in book #5 on a double date with little sis , Jewel they go into a trendy ice cream parlor , Betty Browns where their ice cream concoctions have names like Bananaramas and Xandus! In book #6 Shana puts on her sunglasses in a nightclub ( Outter Space!) when the flashing laser lights get to be too much - calling to mind Corey Hart - I wear my sunglasses at night. #7's soap plot line has Katie sweating. They want her character to start having an affair with her married school teacher! The Police will have her singing - Don’t stand so Close to me. Hmm #8 was tough , so cue the Eye of the Tiger , Rocky music as Katie and Shana duke it out over who’ll win the Emmy.

Other 80's doo-dads

- Katie’s pastel pink & green room ( was it just me or was pink and green one of the it combos of the 80's - I’ll have to do a write up on that )
- Characters saying the word Psyched as in I’m Psyched.
- Katie’s chrome & leather living room which her parents describe as soft tech and she describes
as soft yech!
- Katie does a very 80's role reversal thing and brings her boyfriend pink chrysanthemums (
Remember Kathleen Turner climbing the latter on hunky Michael Douglas’s boat to bring him
daises , turning the damsel in the tower motif upside down. )
- The guys in Jewel’s class start singing ‘she’s a brick house..’ after she lands a small cameo
on All that Glitters.
- eating pickles for a snack - okay it’s not entirely 80's but every series book wavered from fantasy snacks - fluffernutters and milkshakes- to nutritional boring snacks - shiny
apples. Was their no bruised apples out their or spotty bananas? Pickles seemed something I could relate to and , or , carrots - I always seemed to be grabbing one for me and several for my rabbits.
ART WORK

Terrific late 80's covers! The background offered My-little-pony pastels while the series name slanted across the top , accented by pac-man dots , resembling marquee lights , while the
photo art was set inside a curvy box that looked like a t.v. set! The girls on the covers were beautiful had dynamite hair , often windblown , and wore colorful clothes posing with or without a male model.
#4 featured ‘Shana’ in a fabulous red tank style dress with a crinoline style skirt blown up in a carefree way. Dangling from her ears are huge red rhinestone , star earrings. Her ‘boyfriend’ is stuck in the typically , trendy 80's look - printed shirt , skinny leather tie , red suspenders. His hair is bleached.
#5 - I had a jacket just like this! Same color Celadon- green denim. Of course I didn’t have that gorgeous mane of curly blonde hair. oh well.
#6 -Criminy! A carrot pin! Was this the height of fashion? Looks more like something swiped off
a fridge. I know in Valley Girl mini soft-drink can pins can be spotted on the one girls
jacket but this? And mock turtleneck sleeveless tops? ugh! I hated these they always made
your chest look droopy! Peach skirt , Crayon blue top and a carrot pin - well it’s certainly
memorable. Love her hair though she has the perfect bangs.
#7 - baby pink denim jacket with the cuffs turned up very preppy and the boy on the cover’s pretty foxy too!
#8 - Love the dreamy gowns - Katie’s southern belle , off the shoulder , ice blue dress with lace ruffle , and Shana’s pink iridescent dress with one exaggerated shoulder strap look like some something Barbie might wear - Barbie Goes to the Emmy's.

If you’re a huge fan of this series - sorry - but I just didn’t care much for it , I was expecting something more. Sweet Valley High was often exasperating but it was never boring. The writers
should’ve taken a bigger cue from what they were impersonating - soaps and dug up
some better plot ideas or at least some more interesting characters.

SOAP SCUM!

Big & Bubbly - 80's soap frothed up the boob-tube in the 80's growing more elaborate , extravagant and absurd as the decade came to it’s end. First their was everyday Day soap - filled with sex , lust , marriages , divorces , elopements , trickery , blackmail , death , mayhem , illness , and most important the who-am-I-again? The most predictable of all soap plots the old reliable
amnesia. Each Soap had their own unique twists like Wade trying to evade police while in drag in ALL MY CHILDREN. Chris Chapin is carrier of a mysterious poison dust found in a trip to an Egyptian tomb in ANOTHER WORLD ( not to mention the ‘Sin Killer’ being pursued by psychic Lisa Grady ). AS THE WORLD TURNS hones material from the Looney Tunes when John fakes his death after James tries to kill him so he and Dee can ‘haunt’ James. Angela the burn victim is out for revenge like Freddy Krueger in THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL. Wacky characters like Eugene Bradford an eccentric scientist and his robot Sico , Patch ( a henchman wearing an eyepatch ) , Calliope Jones , and Victor Kiriakis filled THE DAYS OF OUR LIVES with humor and Intrigue. Joe Kelly a bag-pipe playing detective who fell in love with his step mother was one of the strangest hunks , amid spies and secret agents , on GENERAL HOSPITAL , while Beth survives a rape attack by her stepfather on the GUIDING LIGHT. LOVING pulled the oldest trick in the book - faking a pregnancy with a pillow but ONE LIFE TO LIVE wins the booby prize of having the most bizarre plots ever - mad Colonel Dimitri off to sell anti-missile control panels to foreigners on Devil’s Claw island , Vicki’s operation to relieve a brain aneurysm causes her to see dead town residents in weird dreamy sequences and following suit is Clint who , after a clunk on the head , has visions of Buchanan City , old west style , with cast members playing their great so-and-so’s amid saloon settings. Then there was a soap within a soap! Fraternity Row - where actress Megan got cast as sisters Ruby and Roxanne not to mention the disastrous Eterna the lost underground city. RYAN’S HOPE offered up underage elopement , while SANTA BARBARA hauled out all the kooky stops - vixen Gina DeMott’s guest appearance on Wheel of Fortune , her wild wedding in Vegas on Christmas Day ,
Angel the fake teenage Evangelist , Bunny Tigliatti a transvestite with mob connections?! And Dr. Zack Kelton a gynecologist who turned out to be the ‘Video Rapist’. And in the YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS - Lauren had a nude picture , of her husband Paul , published in a magazine.

Not that this meager list even scratches the surface there was AIDS , kidnaping , impersonators , switches , and of course Eureka! The long-lost son / daughter / husband / wife / sister / brother / cat / dog / ghost of aunt so-and-so appearing in the easiest add-a-problem twist to the plots.

Night time soap - the Bubble Baths -started in the 80's under the ten gallon hat of J.R. Ewing in the much imitated Dallas. Glossier more fashionable and more catty than the day soaps
because more punch had to be packed in a once a week hourly installment where day soaps could spend weeks even months building up. BEHIND THE SCREEN - a short lived soap within a soap perhaps got too confusing for it’s viewers , it’s heros were creators and actors on a soap called Generations and often called two names and with a cast that kept expanding well , you get the idea. THE COLBY’S were spawned by Dynasty sporting the most bizarre cliffhanger outside of Twin Peaks - Fallon was kidnaped by aliens but what a relief to the writers for , when she and the others returned to Dynasty the next year, they could snap , the aliens dropped her off. DALLAS - Bobby shot , dumped and run over only to be resurrected lathering in Pam’s shower
dismissing 85-86 season as a dream! Bullet’s fly on DYNASTY as Alexis’s long lost daughter Amanda tries to marry Prince Michael of Moldavia only to have revolutionaries bust in during the ceremony with machine guns and blow away half the guests. FALCON CREST had a schizophrenic secretary Jordan who became hooker Monica at night , a tell-all book written by an amnesiac who forgets she even wrote it - ( say what?! ) , white slavery , and an underworld group called ‘The Thirteen’. FLAMINGO ROAD had black magic when the obvious soap shenanigans of blackmail and murder failed to do the trick ( shades of Gargamel ). THE HAMPTONS offered corporate intrigue and incest. HOTEL wavered between heavy topics - a prostitute getting gang raped by students and the usual glittery evenings. And though KNOTS LANDING was described by all as the most realistic of soaps still resorted to the usual goofy trappings - Karen paralyzed for a while?! , twins born , kidnaped and sold on a black market ring , and the grown-ups fading into the background as the teens took over the cul-de-sac.
BLOWING BUBBLES

And with all the serious soaps out there is wasn’t surprising that soap spoofs came out - MARY HARTMAN , MARY HARTMAN had a plot of a serial killer who started his spree after a bad knock , knock joke who kidnaps the hero and they split a candy lifesaver while the cops try to talk him into surrendering. SOAP was all sitcom and all soap as one character homosexual Jody was saving for a sex change operation , his half brother carried a dummy with him everywhere , and Burt Campbell was kidnaped by aliens with a replicant sent to earth in his
place ( and those were the ‘sane’ plots ) , FILTHY RICH was short lived but featured a plot of land baron Big Gus Beck found dead and after being cryogenically frozen his greedy family finds there is a twist , he has left them a living will on videotape and each clause will be played every week. Soap was even on the brain of sci-fi projects like V: the series. The battle between the resistance and the Visitors ( lizard-like aliens hiding under human face masks ) paled under the clash between Visitor leaders - the deadly cool brunette Diana and icy-blond Lydia.
In fact their cat-fight reached warrior proportions when in a spoof of night soap cat-fights Diana & Lydia meet on the space ships battle ground wearing glitter make-up resembling KISS
groupies and armed with staffs duke it out like something out of Mad Max’s Thunderdome!

With all this glitz and glamour being shown it’s surprising that All that Glitters is so boring. It doesn’t even fair well next to Sweet Valley High definitely sudsier than All that Glitters SVH had liars , boy friend stealing , drug addiction pasts , blackmail , a coma , a lukemia death and a suicide attempt all within the first 12 books! All that Glitters has shoplifting , bitchy co-stars , a boyfriend turning into a model wannabee , attack cats , and the weirdest night club ever - Outerspace were lazer lights crisscross and Monique the waitress wears a streak of paint across her forehead and cheek to go with her green and black bodysuit which in book #8 were are told made her look like 'an alien flight attendent.' There is an occational level of glossy maturity - a boyfriend takes Shana out for Pot-au-feu - a mixture of beef and vegtables in a fancy restaurant ( the girls are not above pigging out on sundaes ) , Shana does publicity shoots for animal shelters , Katie tries to avoid gossipy reporter Susan Chang's probbing questions and both girls
discuss their careers with their boyfriends.

10/30/08 - Blast off - 1st Blog for Cliquey Pizza

Hi , there! Peachalulu here wanting to share my love of the 80's
, especially teen book series with anyone who gets nostalgic over a
Sweet Valley High cover or a pair of vintage jellies. Why Cliquey Pizza?
Well for me , 80's series fiction did not exactly strive for Newberry awards , in fact they were little more than brain junk food and what was more popular in the 80's than pizza! As for Cliquey , the 80's were a very cliquey generation , you weren't just in or out - even the out's had labels ( not very nice ones mind you but if you were a dork you could console yourself that you weren't just a dork but a computer nerd , Atari freak , or an apple polisher - a whole resume of geekdom.)

I've been collecting series books for several years ever since I came across a book in a flea market and did a double take - was there a spin-off of Sweet Valley High that had somehow escaped me?! Nope , just a bit of mistaken identity - for a moment I thought the fake triplet Jennifer ( from Sweet Valley Twins #6 ) had been transformed into a real character. The series was the Dream Girls and the cover artist James Matheuse also did the covers for Sweet Valley High giving the characters an eerie similarity between the two series. The villain of Dream Girls conniving Arlene McVie is almost the spitting image of flirty , Jessica Wakefield while the good girl of the series Linda Ellis looks like a Jean West , Susan Stewart morph. Wondering exactly how many series had come out in the 80's , I started combing through used book stores , thrift stores , fleamarkets anywhere I could find the paperbacks for cheap. I couldn't believe how many were out there - over a hundred! Eventually it turned into a scavenger hunt - I'm still looking for the last book to fill in my Fabulous Five series - #29 - Melanie Edwards , Super Kisser and the harder to hunt down Roommates. Occationally I resort to Ebay and Abe books but unless it's a bulk lot I don't bother , I hate paying for shipping! Fortunately I still had my old books packed away so I didn't have to start , completely , from scratch. All in all , I have hundreds and hundreds of books, a dozen or so complete series and most series are nearly complete but still have hundreds left to find.

Reading these books is like a blast from the past , my own Delorian trip back to the 80's - when cell phones were a fantasy , the internet nonexistent and acid washed ( everything ) made laundry blunders look cool! My plan is to discuss the books and how pop culture might have and , or did , influence them.